God's Timing Is Perfect

With 10 days to go until Oli is due, and a million and one things left to do, it's hard to imagine ever being in a position where I'm ready to have this baby. Admittedly I'm over the whole pregnancy thing; injecting insulin, testing my blood glucose levels 4 times a day, having this whopping huge tummy that gets in the way of everything, monitoring everything I eat, braxton hicks, etc. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being pregnant and am looking forward to meeting our new little one. But this is a scary prospect, I have no say over when this bub decides to make it's entrance. Nor can I control every circumstance on the planet to make sure that everything goes according to my plan.

Once again it all comes down to trust. I can't trust myself in this situation, simply because I have no control. But I can trust God. I can trust that He has the whole thing worked out, that I will go into labour at a decent hour, that the people I need to look after my other 2 kids will be available and eager to help, that the things that still need to be done will be taken care of by someone else.

It's an issue of control. I watched Firefly with my husband last night and the Shepherd said to River "You can't fix faith, it fixes you". I guess in this case I need fixing, fixing from my need to control everything. I had a clinic appointment the other day and had someone tell me that I'd give birth after Thursday (when we have the bunk bed delivered). At the moment, as much as it scares me, I'd like to go into labour before then, simply so it is out of my control. I don't want to be God, nor do I want control of my little world, it's all too much.

So, I therefore surrender to the insanity and chaos that is life and choose to let the One who is in control set the path before me. (I just hope that I can stick to it)